Relaxing weekend
Mood:  not sure
This weekend was so relaxing. I did absolutely nothing and was home the whole weekend. I did not leave my house once except to go to my neighbors to get a key for laundry on Saturday. It was nice but it also would have been nice to get out and do something. We would have if we had the money. We are so broke it is not even funny. We have no food in our house and no money to get gas to go anywhere if we wanted to. So I just relaxed at home with the baby and I played Sims on the computer a lot. I am telling you that game is very addicting. Oh, I also cleaned up my house on Saturday but not too much. I just cleaned the kitchen and picked up the living room and vacuumed. I was going to clean the bathroom but I kept forgetting about it and when I did remember I told myself I would wait till the baby was sleeping. Then I would forget about it. I am sure me being addicted to the Sims game doesn't help at all either.

Me and B had a little spat yesterday and he told me our marriage was getting "sour" again. He is right though. We are back to the way we were before and we our having our problems again. I don't know what is going to happen with us. I wish I knew but I am sure it will all be ok with whatever happens. Deep down I am at the point where I don't care anymore and I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe it has to do what we went through before and I am just ok with whatever happens either way. Is it wrong to feel that way? I am not attracted to him anymore and a lot has to do with the way he is. He can be such a mean person and always feels like he needs to say mean things about anyone he sees. I am sure it has to do a lot with me being picked on, so I don't feel it is right to say mean things about other people no matter what. He is an adult and we are not in elementary school no more. I also sometimes feel like he is more my dad than my husband. He is always getting mad at me if I do something wrong instead of understanding that I made a mistake and moving on. I told him all this and he felt bad. He said he doesn't try to be mean to me and he grabbed me and hugged me. I know he doesn't mean to be that way, but he is. And it makes me more and more unattractive to him. Also the way he is when he thinks he is so much better than everyone else and feels if he sees someone is less fortunate than he is he has to make a comment about it and make it known that he has better or he has had better. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you but I am not sure how I can explain it. It is just so hard cause I truly do love him, and I want to be with him, I just wish he was different.

Ok, so enough of me ranting. I guess that is all for now. Have a great day everyone!